she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
Randomize
