yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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