Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
