why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
Randomize
