He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
