I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
