my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Randomize
