yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Opened the apartment door and the smell of sex and weed literally slapped me across the face. Kudos.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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