you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
