i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
Randomize
