Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
