i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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