i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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