I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
