You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
