No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
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