they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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