If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
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