I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize