They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
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