im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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