FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
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