Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Never underestimate the power of titties
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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