The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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