All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
