Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
You kept referring to your penis as "this guy."
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
