the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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