I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
The uberlube is also flammable
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Drunk is a universal language darling
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