Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
