I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
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