ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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