I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
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