He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
It's 6 am and I've spent the last few hours searching for a cork screw or suitable substitute. You had none. Incidentally, I finally opened this bottle of wine, but owe you a new meat sticky thing with those two prongs. Sobriety is not good for me. Or your utensils.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize