im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
