i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
