sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
Randomize
