She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
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