Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
