That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
Randomize
