Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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