She said her name was "party"
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Randomize
