how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
