was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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