You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
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