I look better un-naked...
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
