handjob tips. give me some.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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