All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
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