Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
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