Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
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