Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
