Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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