you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
