scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Yea I just took my 1st pregnancy test. Turns out I am just fat. Also I haven't been with anyone in 3 months, which is clearly making me crazy.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Randomize
