This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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