i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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