We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
