I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Randomize
