I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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