Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
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