I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
She's dressed as a slutty goth schoolgirl. Those are my three favorite things. God himself could not give me whiskey dick.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Randomize
