you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
