Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
